Tori Schmanski

been thinking about my Tori lately...

PRAY 4 TORI

will forever be something that frequently runs through my head.

sweet Tori passed November 7, 2009 at the young age of 19

but we really lost her when she was just shy of 15

it was an unforgettable experience to watch her

through this journey the past 4 years.

she changed my life.

and many others'.

she was a hugger

she asked questions

she was interested

she was sincere

she was deep

she was thoughtful

she was affectionate

she was smart

she was caring

she was sympathetic

she was happy

she was a dancer

she was my dear friend.

Dancing "Victoria" that bff Mckenzie and I choreographed for Tori

Tori came to watch

read more about Tori here

make sure to watch her dance video and the tribute video made by her sweet sister Whitney

now she's dancing with angels

*B&W funeral photos by Eric Ward*

finding joy in the journey

if i had to pick one constant trial in my life that's the most difficult for me it would be

change

i hate it.

i hate everything about it.

i would go back to high school,

i would go back to jr. high

i would go back to elementary school

i would go back to the dance club

it's one of those things that i need to be better about dealing with.

and because one of my goals lately is to watch a conference talk every day, i found this gem today and remembered loving it when i heard it. however, it was given a year ago (when i was a freshman in college and really needed to hear it) and i don't think i took it to heart. i'll try harder now. i think everyone can use this talk. change is constant and we all must get used to it.

sadly.

but surely.

now let's just find joy in this journey

called life.

i'm writing a book.

for my children's literature class.

I CAN'T WAIT to tell you what it's about!!!

stay together for the kids?

so i'm writing a research paper for my parenting and child guidance class on whether or not parents should "stay together for the kids." what are your thoughts? do you think it's better for parents to divorce or stick it out for the sake of their children? any experiences? (i have to have 2 personal experiences;)

i'd rather be

in Lake Powell right now

going back to Prom

One of Nicole's boss' invited me to help with his Prom/party shoot. It was a blast! I really felt like I was back in high school again! You can view it here

it's just one of those days

where i wish i could curl up into a ball and sleep the day away

where i feel so overwhelmed by everything i just want to quit it all

where i forget things that i was supposed to do

where i can't focus on getting one thing done at a time because i'm too worried about all the other things i have to do

where text messages are stressing me out and i can't possibly respond to even one of them

where i feel like my mind is trying to make decisions for my future all today

where i woke up late for a final and things have not gone right since.

do you ever have one of those days?

i feel like they are happening a lot lately. and last tuesday was one of them... is this a trend? i hope not.

BYU stresses me out.

probably the cause of all of these canker sores.

charity: an example of the believers

now that i feel like Satan has entered my body and crushed my heart after reading such terrible things written to my sister because of such an awesome quote, let's all watch a video about Christ-like attributes and try to be like these cheerleaders from Syracruse High School. So inspiring! Charity; this is why women are special!

REALLY??!

Remember my quote about women? Well, recently, Natalie stole it for her own blog and it created an uproar! Totally reminds me of the hygiene post (that i lost friends over... totally ridiculous. SHOWER PEOPLE! And don't lose friends because they do and you don't)... anyway, I'd like to respond. Because I can. You're entitled to your opinions, and I am entitled to mine. This is my blog and I'll post what I want! Isn't that great? Ok so you get to listen to me because you chose to come and stalk me. Now hear me out...

1. I can't believe I started this! When I read this quote I was thinking "BOOM BABY!!!" (Emperor's New Groove). That's how much I loved it.
2. For those of you who are LDS, shame on you. This is a PROPHET of the Lord speaking. How can you possibly disagree?! Do you know better than He does? Read it again. It says that you are equal to man and just as competitive as they are (Natalie is an example. She is in such a harsh community and career. Hard to compete. She's doing it! And let me tell you, that girl is a brilliant one).
3. Let's refer to The Family: A Proclamation to the World: "By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."
4. Those of you who aren't members of our church, we do not believe that women should never have a career. In fact, we are told by our last prophet that women should seek as much learning as possible. Education is vital. Check out this article by President Gordon B. Hinckley from 2007.
5. At the end of the day, I don't care if you agree or disagree. That's why we have such an interesting world. Whatever your view, enter to LEARN, go forth to SERVE. (BYU's education motto, if you will).

God bless you and your little fiery competitive heads ;)

And don't forget to shower the people you love with love.

oh and ps. i love my sister so be kind or don't read her blog because you don't have to! thanks.

miracles are wrought through prayer

love this video.

fav quote from it:

"Prayer is the provider of spiritual strength. It is the passport to peace. Prayer is the means by which we approach our Father in Heaven, who loves us. Speak to him in prayer, and then listen for the answer. Miracles are wrought through prayer."

-President Thomas S. Monson

and why is the carpet all wet Todd?

One of my favorite comedies. We watch it every Thanksgiving to kick off the Christmas season.

"I hope you kids see what a terrible use of resources this was."

"He worked really hard grandma."

"So do washing machines."

"I give you the Griswald family Christmas tree."

"Dad, that thing wouldn't fit in our yard!"

"It's not going in our yard, Russ. It's going in our living room."

play ball!

surprise!!

i spontaneously threw him a surprise party and it went better than expected!!!! more details to follow..

it's a very special day!

It's his birthday!!!!

stairs of death

i walk up these 2-3 times a day. you should hear me pant after. it sounds like i'm dying. poor asthma.

haha

late = no makeup

I have a major problem waking up in the morning. I can't EVER wake up on time. It's been an issue for as long as I can remember. My alarm goes off, I can't hear it. Mom would have to come shake me in bed because I'd have no idea she even came in my room, turned on the lights, and told me to get up. This semester I have class every day at 8 am. I've been late more than is acceptable. Especially because its the class I care most about (sadly) - Gold Latin Ballroom... Anyway, I go with a fresh face because I would rather publicly humiliate myself with the way I look rather than be late to class.... again..

Oh, by the way, I'm a sophomore in college. Most people are decked when they come to school. My poor mother thought this would just be a trend in jr. high when I put my make up on ducked down into my seat on the bus on my way to school. When I hit high school and this habit continued, she just made my hair bigger to hide my face ;)

when will I grow up? this is getting embarrassing.

pictures: (top: 10 pm trio rehearsal at the dance club, 2006?. bottom: 8am tech rehearsal for our company showcase 2007)

women are special

(photo copyright Rubberball Productions)

my NT teacher Brother Stanley Johnson (whom I LOVE) showed us this quote that i love because it validates my going into elementary ed and not accounting or pre-med because that's what i'm interested in. Can't help it! Wish it were something that could produce a larger salary. But I'll be poor and happy ;) Or just a really, really good mom who know's about her kid's development more than the average chick!

"You were not created to be the same as men. Your natural attributes, affections, and personalities are entirely different from these of a man. They consist of faithfulness, benevolence, kindness, and charity. They also balance the more aggressive and competitive nature of man. The business world is competitive and sometimes ruthless. We do not doubt that women have both the brain power and the skills to compete with men. But by competing they must of necessity, become aggressive and competitive. Thus their godly attributes are diminished and they acquire a quality of sameness with man. The conventional wisdom of the day would have you be equal with men. We say, we would not have you descend to that level."

-President Ezra Taft Benson

pretty cool, huh?

my holiday

Hope your Valentine's Day was as wonderful as mine!

J and I started our Saturday off with our favorite activity - McDonald's breakfast. Then we snuggled all day while watching Benjamin Button (he'd never seen it) and then the BYU basketball game. We finally showered at 6 and then I ran to my performance with my BYU ballroom team in Midvale. J came to watch, then he treated me to Market Street Grill. No biggie. He then gave me Kara chocolates. I finally realized this year that this is MY holiday! Never had a boyfriend before to make me realize that.

Sunday he came to our family dinner, we made chocolate espresso pudding, and then Mama and I dominated he and Papa in Rook. Yesterday, we had a date with Mom skiing Deer Valley. And finally, watched 24, the Office, and 30 Rock with M&D.

Today I woke up late and look homeless. Definitely wanting the weekend back right now.

joke of the day

my stats teacher told me this one last semester:

Q: how do you find Will Smith in the snow?

A: you follow the Fresh Prints!! (prince)

i crave this daily

natalie and i invented this at baskin robbins last week after i competed the rumba at byu and then i found myself there again last night wanting more...

jamocha almond fudge ice cream milkshake mixed with tonnnnssss of oreos

hurry to BR! it's to DIE for.

joke of the day

my New Testament professor at BYU told us this one last week:

A teacher notices a student on the back row is sleeping so he decides to put him on the spot and asks him:

"Bob, what do you think about that?"

Bob: "Well, I don't know...what do you think about that?"

teacher: "Oh I don't think.... I know."

Bob: "Well I don't think I know either."

i died laughing...

(pictures - top: somebody's birthday breakfast at Magleby's 2006 with Mckenzie. Bottom: Brick Oven for Lauren's birthday with roomies April 2008)

the most casual day of my life?

i cannot understand these kids getting married these days.

first of all, they're 18.

secondly, and most important, they've made poor fashion choices.

what makes people think

"on my wedding day i'll wear converse!! they're the nicest thing i own!"

classy.

since when did the wedding day turn into the most casual day of our lives?

on my wedding day i sure hope i look amazing.

that's how i want to start my life off with my husband.

so he'll be proud to have me on his arm.

not some teenager.